Insanity At Forks
by Forbidden-Melody
Summary: Two narrators, one a bag of raging hormones and the other a bipolar hysterical adolescent, the Cullens, Bella, Jacob, high school Forks and idiocy. WARNING that right there is the formula for insanity and sheer destruction of your mental health.


_Something crazy. I needed to write something insane._

_Disclaimer: I do not own Edward, no matter how much I wish I did._

* * *

"Hurry, they'll be here any minute!" a female voice hissed.

"Relax, they won't be here for hours," a male replied.

"You don't even know what time it is," the female's voice rose an octave to make her annoyance known.

"Of course I do." was what he said in turn.

"Do you even know _how _to tell time?" she said irritably.

The room was dark, bustling being heard from the front. Low voices of the same male and female were also distinguishable. And suddenly, light filled the area, revealing it to be a school cafeteria of sorts. The only odd thing about it was that the room was entirely empty except for two adolescents. One male, with sandy brown hair and light green eyes. He dressed in black. Tall, he stood leaning against the table, left leg crossed over the other. This male wasn't very muscular. He was, however attractive and held an air of confidence. He looked young—only the approximate age of seventeen, while the female beside him looked even younger; around sixteen. The girl, her long, curly hair the colour of honey and her eyes a shade of hazel. She wore black as well, though whereas her male companion wore pants, she wore a skirt, and black tights. She wore little makeup—only to emphasize her lovely eyes. She only wore mascara and a touch of black eyeliner. She had sort of a casual elegance that was difficult to achieve, impossible replicate.

"Won't be here for hours, huh?" she asked, obviously infuriated by the current situation. The female stood a head shorter than the male. He grinned at her, a dazzling smile.

"It's well that they're here," he said lightly. "We should start."

"Start then, you dunderhead," the female adolescent snapped. The male wrapped an arm around her, shaking his head.

"Is identification mandatory in this situation or shall we remain nameless, my dear?" he asked her.

"We have no names of our own," she pointed out, dryly.

"Hm, that could cause a problem, couldn't it?" he asked, now frowning. The female leaned in against his figure, head resting on his chest. "We'll give each other names."

"Fine with me,"she sighed. "Get this over with, dunderhead."

He shot her a glare, not appreciating being called a dunderhead twice. "Oh, my sweet. The names I can conjure up for you..."

She scowled. "You wouldn't dare give me anything demeaning."

"Of course not, _Aubrey_," he smiled wickedly. She let out a groan.

"Son of a bitch!" she snapped. "Fine, then, _Daniel_."

"I gave you a pretty name," he protested. The newly named Aubrey pouted her full lips, crossing her slender arms over her chest.

"Daniel is a fine name, isn't it, _Daniel_?" she asked, her voice thoughtful, doubting and innocent yet the undercurrent of menace was clearly evident.

He sighed, twirling a strand of her curly honey hair around his finger. "Yes, sweet, it is."

"I don't see why I had to be here," she said, slightly irritated.

"Because I need your help," he replied.

"Hardly." she scoffed.

"What, so I lured you here by asking your help with this, however with the intention of trapping you in a secluded nook with my hands where they shouldn't be on your body, just so I can actually have a shot at you?" he asked, partly sarcastic.

"That sounds about right," she responded dryly.

"And what makes you think that?" he asked, offended.

"The fact that you're a flirtatious horny bastard," she said bluntly. "that will touch anything that moves."

He sniffed. "I resent that."

"I'm only telling you the truth," Aubrey replied, miffed.

He sighed. "You know, this whole conversation _could_ have been avoided if you just had sex with me from the start."

She turned her head rapidly and silently, instinctively biting down hard, into his shoulder. He yelped in pain, tightening his grip around her until she released him.

"You are _never_ going to get laid," he grumbled.

"Turdmite," she mumbled in response. "I hope you choke on a condom."

They had dawdled long enough. The male, straightened his figure, releasing the female from his grasp. The girl, Aubrey, however, did not. She leaned against him, almost tiredly. What they had not yet explained was the story, which would be told, unfolding on its own much later on. But as for the introduction, they were being sloppy and quite slow. Aubrey and Daniel were the narrators of the story, being unseen and apparently non-existent.

"_In fair Forks where we lay our scene,_" Aubrey murmured, yawning.

"Our protagonists, the Cullens and the lady, Bella Swan, face the peril of none other than," Daniel paused dramatically, then added in a grave tone. "High school."

Aubrey couldn't stifle her giggle. "And the troubled romance of adolescents in these turbulent times."

Daniel shot a glance at the doors. "On with the show," he whispered and Aubrey nodded, skipping off towards doors where Daniel's gaze was set. He frowned, watching her move away in rapid, fluent strides. He struggled to come up with an animal to compare her to, but none he thought of were graceful enough. Every movement that girl made shone with an elegance all too natural.

As she left, the cafeteria began to fill. Daniel sighed, hopping up on one of the tables. Girls and boys sat around him, as if he was not there in the first place, chattering on excitedly about everything and nothing. He longed for the days where he was part of the conversation. Now, he could simply observe as life went on, passing him by like the ever moving wind; always there, but impossible to catch it. Seen, yet unseen. She was his sole company, now, after so many years. He closed his eyes, perfectly still, as if he was not a living being, but a statue and waited for Aubrey's return.


End file.
